On Saturday mornings, I like to light my scented candle; today, it's Watermint and Clementine. I grab my coffee and reflect on how my week went. I think about where I spent my time and check in with myself to see if my choices align with my values. If anything was off or it wasn't great, I look at what adjustments I want to make in the week ahead.
Why is this important? It helps me stay on track and live a life aligned with what I value most and what makes me happy. I'll explain more in just a bit.
Today, I want you to do this ritual with me. Pause right now, grab a scented candle that matches the mood you want to experience, light it, refill your coffee cup, and let's reflect together.
Let's Get Cozy and Reflect
Now that we have our essentials let's collectively take a deep breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Again. In through the nose and out through the mouth. While we ground ourselves, watch your candle's flame dance up and down and move side to side.
Ask yourself the following questions about where your time went this past week:
- Where did my time go? Who and what got my time?
- How do I feel about where I spent my time?
- Did I spend my time in alignment with what I value most?
This week has been rough for me, and I know it's because I didn't make choices that align with my values. I added extra appointments at my mental health practice. I also committed to three activities I usually wouldn't have, which took away from my core value of time with my family.
Breath Break and Realignment
So now that we've reflected let's pause and look at our candle. Enjoy the flickering flame, do two to three-breath cycles, and ask what changes I want to make this week so I am living aligned with my values.
Me, I plan to have one on one dates with each of my kids and a family date. I will have better boundaries around my designated work days. Also, I will not sign up for anything extra, so I can return to feeling good.
Let's say you value quality time, but your family is committed to sports, so you don't have the luxury of planning one-on-one dates; that's okay. Here are a few ideas on how to either free up more time or make the most of your time:
- Ride-sharing - carpool with another family to have some time at home with another child or spouse.
- No phones in car rides - make it a rule that no one looks at their phone while riding to and from practices or games.
- Play hooky - skip the morning of school and meetings and have an adventure with one of your kids.
- Reschedule a meeting or appointment - if you are at your max, reschedule. Take a break and go on an adventure instead. Trust me; you will feel so much better if you step away and soak up time with your family versus continuing to grind away at work.
Tiny Little Tweaks Make Us Feel Like We Are in Control of Our Life
I hope you feel better after this little chat. I know I do. Right now, I am off to complete my last commitment of the week, and then I'm looking forward to family time.
Doing these check-ins weekly is essential so that you don't get too far away from what matters most. As I said, I choose to do this on Saturdays; you can pick any day of the week that fits your schedule or makes sense to you.
What If I Feel Stuck and Don't Have The Freedom To Realign?
You should know that sometimes we can be in a lifecycle where it feels like we do not have any freedom with our time and are stuck on a hamster wheel. And you do still have choices that you can make to improve your overall happiness and realign with your values.
You can ask for help to share in rides and your sports shuttle service; you can step down from some commitments; sometimes, this is the most powerful choice you can make for your sanity and family. You can implement the above suggestions to maximize our moments and pockets of time.
Lastly, if you are too busy and you can't step away from any commitment because that is not aligned with who you are, make it a hard rule that you will not sign up for anything new.
See you next week!