Skinny Didn't Make Me Happy

Hands up if you have said:

I’ll be happy once I lose _X_ pounds.

I’m here to tell you, from too much experience, that is A LIE.

For more than 2 decades I HATED myself.

I’m tearing up thinking about all the things I did to get skinny and then to stay skinny.

• Starvation.
• Purging.
• HANDFULS of diet pills.
• Laxatives.
• Excess exercise.
• And let’s not forget, EXTREME verbal abuse.

You want to talk about self-loathing?

I have a doctorate in that and I am working everyday to complete my masters in self-love.

I want to get real with you and share this,

When I see a photo of my 23 year old self, two things happen:

Initially I want to scoop her up and tell her that she is enough.

Then I have to leave the room, if others are around, because I can’t withhold the ugly cry that ensues.

Why?

So much pain.

That girl was in so much pain under that perfect 10 body.

I’m here to tell you, that you are lying to yourself when you say that you will be happier when you weigh less.

Because as cliche as it is, the change needs to happen in your head.

Today, take 5 minutes and look into the mirror.

Please withhold any negative comments for these few minutes of your life.

Look into your eyes, and only your eyes.

Breathe in…and breathe out.

And when the 5 minutes are up, or your kiddo tells you times up,

Whisper: I love you.

Because confidence is built from the inside out.